


Having Fans

by AshRain



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Ducking Out, Gen, Insecurity, Pre-accepting anxiety, Youtube comments, bby finds out there are people out there who like him, negative thinking, virgil getting some much needed appreciation and love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:00:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23360575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshRain/pseuds/AshRain
Summary: Virgil roots through Thomas' youtube comments and has a surprising releavtion. Maybe the fans are his one saving grace.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 101





	Having Fans

It was pretty much over now. The others had all revealed their names and here Anxiety was, unwanted and unable to trust any of them enough to tell them his own name.  


Virgil.

He had known his name the moment he was created. The moment he popped up in Thomas’ mind he knew he was Virgil.

He was _Virgil _before he was _Anxiety _. But now he could only really be _Anxiety _because being _Virgil _made him too vulnerable. He had never been safe with the Dark side and now he wasn’t safe with the Light sides either.________

_____ _

It tore him apart a little. Or maybe a lot. But what was he going to do? There was nothing he could do, really.

_____ _

Not even the fans liked him, probably. He was too anxious to actually check. He knew it would hurt. 

_____ _

And a lot. So he had avoided looking at anything the fandom had to say. 

_____ _

He should just leave, honestly. Maybe Roman was right and all he did was harm Thomas. Maybe he should just duck out and sink into oblivion. Maybe it all didn’t matter. 

_____ _

Maybe he didn’t matter.

_____ _

Yeah. that was probable. Thomas wanted him gone the moment he arrived. It was time to let Thomas’ deepest, truest wish come true. He would leave.

_____ _

But how could he?

_____ _

Anxiety didn’t feel safe around the other sides but he still had to protect him. He still had to protect Thomas.

_____ _

Maybe it was time to turn to the fandom. Maybe if he was hurt enough by their hate it would be easier for him to leave. Leaving meant leaving all the pain behind as well, after all. 

_____ _

It’d be better for all of them if he was gone. 

_____ _

So he made his decision. He pulled his laptop closer to himself, turning it on.

_____ _

He only needed a few moments to find Thomas’ _Taking on Anxiety _video. He paused it before it could start, scrolling down to the comments.__

_______ _ _ _

There were so many. So many people had seen the video and thought it good or bad enough to warrant a comment.

_______ _ _ _

He mindlessly scrolled past many comments citing some lines of the video the particular viewer had liked most, a few talking about their own experiences with Anxiety. A few complimented Thomas on how far he’d come.

_______ _ _ _

But then he found one specifically about himself.

_______ _ _ _

He had nearly scrolled past it as well but scrolled back to it when his title registered properly.

_______ _ _ _

_Anxiety is adorable _.__

_________ _ _ _ _ _

What? No he wasn’t. He was dark and edgy and scary. He had to be or Thomas wouldn’t listen to him and get hurt. But- that comment was positive.

_________ _ _ _ _ _

It was a compliment. But why? He was the bad guy, the disease, he couldn’t understand how anyone could see him as anything but when even Thomas saw him as nothing else.

_________ _ _ _ _ _

He shook his head to clear it, quickly moving on to the next video - _A New Year of Lying to Myself in Song _. The comment section there was not much different, just more saturated with people lamenting the new year.__

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

But then he found another one. 

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Anxiety my emo baby I love you _.__

_____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I love you? Yeah sure, sounds fake but go off I guess” he mumbled, barely above a whisper. But if they didn’t mean it why would they write it? They had nothing to gain from toying with him. He didn’t understand what was happening.

_____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

But it still made something in him feel warm and soft for the briefest of moments.

_____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He kept on looking.

_____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The Dark Side of Disney - _Hmm, dunno. Anxiety does have a point kinda _?__

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Alone on Valentine’s Day - _Anybody else’s favorite side Anxiety? I love him so much ___

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Losing my Motivation - _Does anyone else feel kinda bad for Anxiety? He tries so hard but is always cast as the antagonist. He’s not always the bad guy _!__

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Am I Original? - _Did anyone else get really sad because how sad Anxiety looked when Logan called him a defeatist? You’re breaking my heart here guys :( ___

_____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

My Negative Thinking - _“You don’t want me here, but I’m here” no shut up I want you here!! ___

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

And many more like that.

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He slammed his laptop shut after that.

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He didn’t understand. He couldn’t wrap his head around it. They liked him.

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The fans actually, genuinely liked him! They liked him, Anxiety. Not just because he was Thomas in some way but because he was- what. Himself? They liked him for who he was, antagonist and disease and everything!

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

It was barely believable. Not even the other sides liked him but these complete strangers on the internet seemed to like and partly even love him. And what a novel idea it was to be loved. Sure, Patton threw the word around sometimes but he said it to everyone. Patton probably just pitied Anxiety but those strangers? Why should they?

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Some even said they found him relatable!

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

And maybe, he realised with burning eyes, maybe they were worth holding on for.

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

For just a little while at least. Just a little while longer.

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on tumblr @ashrain5, I'm always open to prompts :)


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